Now, I decide to tell my story in my blog. I really don’t care people will read it or not, cause it’s just be a media for me to express what I’m feeling now. Why don’t me try to tell it to my close friends? Literally it’s just because I don’t wanna disturb anyone, who probably could be disturbed by my story or they will don’t like to hear it. I have a trauma in telling my problem to a person. When I tried to tell my story after one of my friends told his problems, He judged that what I did was like comparing my life or my problems to his problem. But to be honest, I didn’t mean it. It’s just a spontaneous response from myself, maybe cause I never get any chances to tell my problems in deep, so it comes out suddenly when there’s a chance for me to tell my problem. Sometimes at that time I didn’t realize that I just told my problem, I just feel like I’m doing conversation with a friend that I have known. But that’s wrong, in the reality, not all of people will be fine if we try to ask them or tell our stories to them, even though they are the people that we think close friends. So, I think it’s better to just write it down, and tell my story on my blog. From that experience, I always think that there’s no one who will care to my life, even though my parents. Sometimes I have to always listen and care to anything that people tell to me. But when I ask them one thing, or just ask them to listen what I’m talking about, they will judge me.
Even though there’re people who available to listen me, I think it’s just a nonsense, perhaps, in the deepest of their heart, they feel disturbed? But I will be so much thankful, even though they listen to me not sincerely. But, perhaps in this world, there will be a person who will be available to listen our stories sincerely. Now I think, the best way for us to tell our problems is just to Allah, who will always be there to listen our problems. Cause there’s no one who will understand us, but Him. The words, that said I ALWAYS COMPARING MY PROBLEMS after I tell my issue unconsciously, fine, thanks for giving me new trauma. I will try not to do it twice.
Telling My Stories 